If you believe the TV and Internet ads that say your only way to happiness and fulfillment is to find yourself a man, then you’re being duped. Sure, finding your one true love (or even just a boyfriend) is good, but seriously, who needs a man when you have a cat?
That’s right. Here are five excellent reasons why cats are better than boyfriends.
#5 Cats Never Start Bar Fights
It’s true. Cats really aren’t ones for bars (unless they serve catnip, that is). But even if they were going to go to one, their loyal, solitary, and regal nature would prevent them from popping some dude on the nose because he either (a) looked at you funny, or (b) insulted the cat’s favorite football team.
Also, cats aren’t really into sports. Unless it’s hunting. Well, hunting and sleeping. And let's not forget looking adorable.
#4 Cats Will Keep You Warm
Cats care not if you have icy toes in the winter. They snuggle with you regardless. They enjoy spooning, curling into the crook of your arm or leg, and even laying on your tummy. And, you don’t have to do anything more than feed them for it.
In fact, cats will even just sprawl near you (for love and companionship) during the summer, just like they stepped out of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
#3 They Clean Behind Their Ears
This is the thing about cats … they’re seriously your best friend. Not only can they amuse themselves when you’re busy, but they bathe on a regular basis (some may say it borders on being a tad OCD) and they smell good. All the time! Go on, pet a kitty and smell her fur, it’s heavenly.
#2 Bring on the Ice Cream
Cats care not one whit if you decide to single-handedly break some Guinness Book World Record for eating as much ice cream as you can in one sitting. They don’t even care if you wear your most horrible tracksuit pants, either. Now, that’s real love.
Just give your kitty a little taste of the ice cream (but no chocolate; cats don't do well with chocolate).
#1 They're Purr-tastic
Purring, as far as we're concerned, should be considered the eighth wonder of the world. And, well, boyfriends just can’t do it. There is absolutely nothing like petting a kitty and listening to it purr. It makes you feel all warm and gooey inside, and you don’t have to do anything more strenuous than move your hand. It's almost as if you've succeeded at cold fusion or something.
So now that the polls are in, you have to agree. Cats are better than having a boyfriend.
At least most of the time.
Meow! It’s Monday.