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Top 5 Reasons Your Cat Should Be a Dating Coach

Meow Monday


We all know how difficult it is to find Mr., Ms. Right … but dating sites and psychics aside, there is a better, often overlooked way to choose your dates.


And that’s through your cat.


Yes, you read correctly. Your cat can be the best matchmaker for you. And, it’s free (which is always a blessing in this economy)! But how exactly does your cat narrow down the potentials and lead you down the rocky road of love?


#5 Seamus O’ Shedder

You might think your cat sheds because it’s hot outside, but that’s not the case. Kitty is trying to find out if your new beau is worthy. After all, a real man (or woman) will not mind a bit of fur on the clothing ... and your cat knows it!


#4 Sneezes MacChoo

The mature, sophisticated types will be able to withstand a bit of cat dander and saliva. And if not, that's why histamine blocking drugs were invented.


#3 Scratches McGee

If your normally well-behaved cat suddenly takes a fancy to shredding the Italian calf leather on your new love’s brief case, we’ll forgive you for thinking kitty has suddenly become a full-time member of PETA and is showing her disdain for all things animal-abusive.


Thing is, your cat's activism towards animal rights has always been well known (she doesn't need to become destructive to make a point). Kitty is more into your rights, anyway. And she knows anyone who cares more about a boring and morally questionable briefcase is not someone you should be hanging out with.


#2 Claws Malone

Sometimes even the most even well-tempered of felines gets a bit … scratchy.


So, if kitty suddenly starts to impersonate Linda Blair (à la The Exorcist) and goes crazy on people, especially a new love interest, don’t worry. Kitty isn’t jealous. She’s simply making sure your love is worthy of you (and her). A true love won’t mind a few decorative scratches. In fact, a real contender for your heart will wear claw marks with pride, and will want to be your cat's best friend.


#1 Hairball Hanratty

Hairballs are the ultimate test a cat has to vet a suitable mate (and tons cheaper than employing a dating service, might we add). A furball hacking at the most inconvenient moment -- say, when you have an overnight guest that needs to navigate the bathroom in the dark -- is but a test of love. If curses are hurled towards your cat, along with any threats, then it’s definitely time to show the fool the door. If not, wedding bells?


Ain't kitty love grand? A cat is really your only friend that will screen all potential mates for absolutely no charge. Well, okay, perhaps a bit of a petting session … but that’s not much to ask for, is it? Not when it’s your future at stake.


Meow! It’s Monday.



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