What the Animals Are Resolving to Do This Year On the Farm
By now I’m sure most of us have made a few resolutions for the new year. I, for one, have the standard promises to work out more (“Get ripped!” is what my list enthusiastically says), read more, and try to decrease chocolate consumption. Same old, same old. But, we humans aren’t the only ones who make resolutions, you know. I’ve heard a thing or two out on the farm that suggests to me the livestock have a few plans for themselves for 2014 as well. Here’s what I’ve gathered from word from the pastures.
- To lose a shoe more often before a long trail ride.
- To perfect jumping skills by going over the pasture fence more often.
- To come to peace with the scary red tractor and find a new item to spook at regularly.
- The “moo” needs some practice. Do so at midnight as close to the farmer’s house as possible.
- Chew cud fifty times before swallowing rather than forty-five times.
- Work on Unified Field Theory in spare time.
- We need to work on uniformity.
- We need to polish herding instincts — perhaps form a drill team??
- We need to stand up to that pushy sheep dog and ---- ah! There he is! (list unfinished)
- Taste test that new shrub recently planted near the barn
- Test the fence again for escape routes
- Perfect head butting skills on small children
- Taste test the new barn siding
- Taste test the new aluminum water trough
- Taste test the veterinarian
- Take over the world
Dr. Anna O'Brien