Do you ever have strange questions about your pets … yet you have an inkling they might be the kind of stupid questions that'd make your veterinarian wonder whether s/he should add a "low watt light bulb" sticker to your pet's chart?

While I'd be the first to offer that there are no stupid questions — not as long as pets will benefit from their asking — I do understand the trepidation with which intelligent people might approach the issue of the simple query.

Sure, you could always look up the answer on Dr. Google, but let's be honest: Would you want to trust your pets' health to a web-crawler whose legitimate claims to success barely best two Jeopardy nerds? I wouldn't.

I got to thinking about this subject because every so often I get these odd e-mails from my sister. They'll start with the typical pleasantries and quickly segue into the odd non-sequitur … always to do with her dogs, of course. Kooky questions, sometimes, but legitimate ones, nonetheless.

She's got these two dogs, you see; Morgan and Madison, they're called, Rottie mixes, both (presumably, anyway), ages nine and seven, respectively. And they go everywhere with her. Hence, the frequent barrage of oddball (and sometimes humorous) questions on the subject of her dogs' health, husbandry, nutrition and bodily functions.

After cleaning up my e-mail folders while on my recent flight to California, I decided to catalog all of her crazy questions for future use as post titles. But after this process I felt it'd be a waste not to showcase her quirky inquisitiveness — especially if it helped others feel less bashful about asking their veterinarian anything that might be relevant to their pets' health.

So I secured her permission to showcase a top ten selection of her questions here:

1. What makes dog saliva so slippery? It’s amazing when Madison drools while waiting for food. The intensely thick and slick puddle can take a person down — no banana peel needed.

2. Why does Madison like to stare into my eyes and hold eye contact (not when he wants food or something)? I understand why Morgan (the wild one) doesn't like to make eye contact, but what does Maddie's stare mean?

3. Why do dogs' pads sometimes smell like evergreen meets rosin? And other times like corn chips?

4. What is the purpose of a dewclaw?

5. Why does Morgan poop every morning like clockwork and Madison is not as regular?

6. Why do they say dogs can't go into restaurants for health reasons — what health reasons?

7. Why do some dogs have hair in their ears (Morgan) and some don't (Madison)?

8. Did yoga develop from watching dogs? They totally do a downward dog thing.

9. Why does a dog have a nose slit right in the middle of its nose as opposed to two holes like us?

10. If a dog's tail hangs over its anus why doesn't it ever get really dirty?

I could go on for pages on the answers to the above questions (I have, in fact). But that's not the point of this post. Rather, my intention is to get you past any shyness when it comes to asking questions of your vet. After all, I can't imagine questions any sillier than my sister's. And still I love answering them!

Clockwise from top: Max (the human), Morgan, Madison

Dr. Patty Khuly

P.S. Feel free to come up with the silliest pet questions you've ever honestly wanted to ask. If it's really, really weird ... I might even answer it.

Pic of the day: taro the shiba's famous head-tilt by _tar0_