I arrived at 11 a.m. Sunday morning … just in time to see the coffee and donuts go bye-bye. Which was a good thing, seeing as a sugar and caffeine let-down in an hour would have been a bad thing. By then I'd be hard at work on my day's trophy: A cup full of feline testicles!

Nasty stuff, I know, but I can't help myself. And clearly, the organizers of these feline spay/neuter days can't either. Otherwise, why would I always end up on testicle duty?

I can hear it now: "Dr. Khuly's got a way with those balls, you know. Gets more per hour than any other vet I've met. She must have something serious against those suckers."

Indeed I do. I've often said I like nothing better than the sweet, simple success of de-tomming a cat. Makes me feel like I'm making the world a better place —  palpably, even — one ball at a time.

Some have said that makes me a man-hater or a castrating bitch. And while I will accept the occasional foray into the latter descriptor (depending on the circumstance), the only human balls I have ever wanted to castrate are the ones hanging off the backs of trucks (tacky and repulsive, all at once).

But for cats? Terminate. With extreme prejudice, but no pain. That's my take on the feline neuter procedure.

Maybe that sounds a bit extreme and aggressive, but make no mistake: The fight against feline overpopulation is a war I intend to win sometime during my lifetime. So can you blame me if I sometimes take my trophy-hunt analogy too far?

Dr. Patty Khuly

P.S. Unneutered toms, beware! March 20th, Dr. Khuly's been signed up to snip!

Pic of the day: Barton by Brother O'Mara