It’s been two weeks today since Sophie’s been gone. I’ve been working hard, away for a spell (a weekend vacation I thought she’d attend), and immersing myself in random books and old miniseries.

Though lots of intense work keeps me busy, The Book Thief and The Shadow of the Wind were superb, my cooking time has skyrocketed (all these mangoes) and early Battlestar Galactica has it’s charms...

...truth is, we’re all still hurting (badly) over Sophie Sue’s demise. Not an hour goes by that I don’t remind myself she’s no longer here after looking for her in that weird way we pet lovers are wont to do at any given moment...for no reason at all. Just to feel them near. 

It’s a comfort, knowing she’s always with me in that strange spiritual sense. But, at present, it’s kind of a burden, you know? I don’t enjoy the thoughts, when they come. And I can only be thankful for not having too much time to dwell on how much I miss her.

The receipt of her ashes, however, kind of brought it all back.

I knew her cremains had to have arrived by now, but I wasn’t ready to ask my staff for her. Knowing, as they did, that it might not be wise to inform me, they waited for my request. And now what’s left of her physical body is here with me. I can handle it now. 

But what to do with these cremains? 

My son voted for a ceremony. And we'll have one as soon as the whole family returns from their summer trips and we do our belated Father's Day dinner at my house. 

But what about the ashes? Will we spread them?––and where? Will we urn them?––and in what?

Again, my son had the best idea: We'll plant a Sophie tree in the front yard near her favorite poopy corner––with her ashes under the roots. And because I don't think I can part with her should I ever move, I'll keep some in a little box, too. 

So weird, this need to keep a bunch of crunchy debris in my possession. Especially since I'm big on being scattered in the Everglades, myself. But we all have our very human and individually unique attachment to things.

What are yours? How would you handle them?

PS: Thank you all so much for your condolences––posted online and delivered by email or snail mail. My family and I truly appreciate them.