Florida’s the new Oklahoma…or Tennessee…though neither Bible Belt state has actually come out and banned the fake bull testicles that swing grotesquely from truck tow-hitches and (dangerously) from the back of low-riding drag racers.
Thanks to Dolittler BFF Gina Spadafori at PetConnection (who somehow remembers even the most vulgar of my past posts) comes the news that Florida State lawmakers have passed a Senate version of a transportation bill with the ban on these balls attached…to its tail end, of course.
No, I promise this won’t be another post laced with the double entendres that graced discussion in the Florida Senate this past week—if I can help it. (Dr. Khuly just likes to come out and say the words, much though she may substitute a few dashes in her nod to family-friendliness.)
Interestingly, the Senator who brought forth the measure, which fines the users of TruckNutz, BullBalls and other realistic faux testicles sported in extreme poor taste $60 for each infraction, is a gun shop owner. Florida’s a bizarre state, indeed, getting ever-stranger in its drive to ban books, breeds and now…balls.
What will they think of banning next? On the block: Perhaps those smarmy family SUV window stickers some parents have abandoned for fear the sex-offenders will be drawn to their driveways? Or how about my newly-designed bumper stickers urging folks to “Kiss My Pit Bull”?
Much as I find the testicles eminently tasteless, swinging mercilessly at every bump in the road and screeching stop, how could I support their extinction? Not while my state continues to curb my liberties on things I personally enjoy and hold dear—not least of which includes my very right to have my say, distasteful though it may be to others.