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Dr. Coates is a veterinarian based in the other “Sunshine State” – that's Colorado to the rest of you – where she lives and plays with a varied range of animals. She shares her professional and personal experiences, Monday through Friday, here on petMD's blog, the Fully Vetted. Log in for your daily dose of her insight and wisdom.

 

Florida's at it again! Banning books, breeds and now'¦balls

April 27, 2008 / (10) comments


Florida’s the new Oklahoma…or Tennessee…though neither Bible Belt state has actually come out and banned the fake bull testicles that swing grotesquely from truck tow-hitches and (dangerously) from the back of low-riding drag racers.

Thanks to Dolittler BFF Gina Spadafori at PetConnection (who somehow remembers even the most vulgar of my past posts) comes the news that Florida State lawmakers have passed a Senate version of a transportation bill with the ban on these balls attached…to its tail end, of course.

No, I promise this won’t be another post laced with the double entendres that graced discussion in the Florida Senate this past week—if I can help it. (Dr. Khuly just likes to come out and say the words, much though she may substitute a few dashes in her nod to family-friendliness.)

Interestingly, the Senator who brought forth the measure, which fines the users of TruckNutz, BullBalls and other realistic faux testicles sported in extreme poor taste $60 for each infraction, is a gun shop owner. Florida’s a bizarre state, indeed, getting ever-stranger in its drive to ban books, breeds and now…balls.

What will they think of banning next? On the block: Perhaps those smarmy family SUV window stickers some parents have abandoned for fear the sex-offenders will be drawn to their driveways? Or how about my newly-designed bumper stickers urging folks to “Kiss My Pit Bull”?

Much as I find the testicles eminently tasteless, swinging mercilessly at every bump in the road and screeching stop, how could I support their extinction? Not while my state continues to curb my liberties on things I personally enjoy and hold dear—not least of which includes my very right to have my say, distasteful though it may be to others.

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COMMENTS (10)
1
by on 04/28/2008 09:57am

CathyA: Yeah, they tried the plumber-pants law down here, too. I didn't pay much attention to it but I gather it's not being enforced even if it did pass...;-)

2
by on 04/28/2008 12:34am

I agree, they're completely tasteless…but enough with the laws banning bad taste.

These thing are a perfect indicator that this is a person I don't want to know. It's even better than having moron tattooed on their forehead. :)

3
by on 04/27/2008 11:39pm

won't lie, TruckNutz make me giggle. talk to me in 5 months when i actually have a kid and we'll see how i feel.

4
by on 04/27/2008 08:10pm

Goofy, goofy people. I think the fake testicales are extremely tastless, but one of my neighbors has them on his little hatchback (I think it's a Focus?) and it makes me snicker every time I see this tiny little car- whose assigned parking place is between my full-sized pickup and another neighbor's F350, as it's the only thing on this side of the complex that fits into that spot- with it's GIANT BALLS OF DOOM.

5
by on 04/27/2008 03:37pm

I live in an agricultural small town in Oklahoma, home to the state's veterinary school and several prominent ranchers, horse breeders, etc. Needless to say, everyone here drives a truck, and brightly colored faux testicles hang from trailer hitches of most. I think they're tacky and unattractive, but they seem to match the personalities of the swaggering, Wrangler-jeans wearing occupants. While I roll my eyes when I see them, I think it's ridiculous to try and ban them. Really, aren't there more important things to worry about?

6
by on 04/27/2008 01:27pm

them balls don't bother me. welcome to florida, turn your clock back 50 yrs.
think they'll do the same breast or butt cleavage!?

7
by on 04/27/2008 12:37pm

Of course, the balls are gross- but why do they get banned over the half naked women or all naked women stuck on vehicles? I mean- they're usually more noticeable then the balls a-swinging.

8
by on 04/27/2008 12:07pm

Oh yes, here we go down the slippery slope of big brother once again. I see the balls all the time...In NJ...not even in a "hick" state...Who cares?...are they any more disgusting then the 16 yr old spitting on the street? or the old man adjusting himself in the grocery store? what's the government going to try and regulate next?...I am somewhat conservative, but I am also tired of a government that is obviously already broken itself trying to regulate that kind of thing when there are way more important things "broken"...I'd like to see them legislate themselves first.
(and I have a sign in my window that say nuckenfutz...) people need to be offended by the oil companies 10 billion dollar profits...and us paying $4.00/gal for gas....not a pair of rubber balls hanging from the back of a truck.

people and I mean younger people...obviously never read "1984" in school....if they did, they wouldn't be inviting youtube into so much of their lives willingly. much more important than "Lord of the flies"

9
by on 04/27/2008 12:04pm

LMAO! The fake testicles can go, but I would buy one of your bumper stickers even though I don't own a bully. I think my contribution would go to a good cause ( assuming you didn't have them printed in China) and the looks I'd would make for free entertainment.

10
by on 04/27/2008 12:01pm

IMO it's public indecency. If you can't walk around with your real ones hanging out, you shouldn't get to drive around with fake ones hanging off the back of your truck. :P

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About fully vetted

Patty Khuly, VMD, MBA

Photo of Dr Khuly

Dr. Khuly is a former petMD blogger and small animal veterinarian in Miami, Florida, where she practices medicine at Sunset Animal Clinic and serves on the board of the South Florida Veterinary Medical Association. She is a graduate of Wellesley College, the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine, and The Wharton School of Business.

As a significant sideline, she writes...a lot. She authors pet health columns for USA Today, The Miami Herald and Vetstreet. She also writes a popular monthly column for Veterinary Practice News and serves as regular contributor to Veterinary Economics, The Bark, and the Veterinary News Network.

Dr. Khuly lives in South Miami with her brood of hens, goats, dogs, cats...and humans.

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