We’re currently suffering such a chronic shortage of vet techs in our area that I’ve been told my hours might get cut short this coming month. Dr. Khuly? Do you mind working only in the afternoons while X technician is out on vacation?

Although I like to think I’m pretty efficient and can manage a lot on my own in the hospital, a lack of technicians means that even I’m without work when push comes to shove. After all, there’s only so much any vet can manage without support from well-trained warm bodies, believe it or not.

Now, I’m not the manager, mind you, but in the wake of this announcement, I’ve spent some time on the phone trying to tempt some very talented staff to move from their Northeast posts down to MIA just so I can keep my head afloat, mortgage-wise. God knows I’d make more money if I only had more savvy assistance behind me.

I hear tell this isn’t true in other parts of the country. Some places have so many certified techs that every hospital in the land can have two if they want them. In these sunny-sky zones with scrub-clad clouds, I even hear of some places where they won’t hire techs unless they’re certified. Sadly…Miami isn’t one of them.

OK so part of me is writing this because I know that lots of you who read this are techs—and maybe, just maybe, one of you is willing to hazard the hot Miami summers and still-high property values for a bit of tropical sun in the winters, boating on the bay and the prospect of a hot-blooded Latin soulmate. (That was good! I should write advertising copy, right?)

The other part of me is writing this because those of you who aren’t vets or techs (or otherwise in the biz) don’t know how crucial and indispensable techs can be. If any of you ever thought vet techs were vet-wannabes then let me assure you that such is not an acceptable mindset—not anymore.

Techs used to be forged by the fire of a multitude of near-biting close-calls and hard-nosed vets who pushed their buttons after many, many years spent sighing with boredom in surgery, glowing from the X-rays and reading countless smelly fecal samples positioned just under their noses on the microscope’s stage. 

But times have changed. An increasing number of techs are now trained in the safety and [relative] comfort of a college classroom. Even in my neck of the woods, Miami-Dade College has devised a surprisingly good program for cranking out well-qualified certified techs.

Problem is, where I live lots of vets haven’t been trained to use them properly—not yet, anyhow. So all those hard-won skills and that academic know-how often go undetected, underused and, most importantly, underpaid. And so newly-minted techs fly the coop to neighboring counties and faraway states, leaving those like me very sad and very much in the lurch. (OK, now I’m whining.)

Maybe my fortunes will change this week. I can feel a lucky streak coming on. And because I know luck alone is never enough, let me just beg one more time: just email me your resume…please?