I have a good reason for writing this article right at this moment. I should be getting gussed and laquered up for an impending date with the Cleveland orchestra. Instead, I’m sitting in my house in front of my laptop wearing a mu-mu (yes, even the chicest of vets has been known to don a fashionable, Target-designer special mu-mu).

Why do I offer up this [potentially embarrassing] confession? And what, pray tell, does it have to do with vet medicine and client procrastination?

It’s all because my vet boyfriend is currently cutting up pets instead of taking me to the symphony. It’s all because said pets’ owners felt it was OK to wait six days before seeking medical attention—on a Friday afternoon. I guess they thought it might be more expensive on a Saturday. (Not on your life after ruining our night out!).

Now, I’m not talking about real crises that spring unforeseen from thin air—like the bloat or the urinary obstruction. These happen and they’re perfectly permissible late-Friday entries.

No, I’m talking about… “My pet has been vomiting since Tuesday and I think the ‘superball’ he ate at a birthday party on Sunday might have something to do with it.”  (Really? Care to sign this estimate?) 

Or, how about the real winner: “I’m not sure what’s wrong with him but he hasn’t been able to move his hind limbs all week, Doc, what should we do?” (Ummm…sign here please.)

You remember the article I wrote yesterday? Well, this is its corollary. If you make life really hard for us, especially if it’s related to inflicting inexcusable cruelty on your pet, then we will charge you more and—guess what!—you may even be treated coldly by the staff.

Any person cold-blooded enough to let their dog languish in its own urine for days, then insult the veterinary team by forcing the issue at the last minute, deserves the special “idiot tax” (and I euphemize) that comes with our anger, frustration and disgust.

Did I forget to mention the expensive symphony tickets? Oops, add another $150 to the bill…somewhere. And my girlfriend’s wrath? Yep, it’s worth another $?…somewhere…anywhere.