I’ve just finished watching the first season of Lost on DVD. OK, so I’ve just confessed to indulging one of my guilty pleasures: watching TV on my computer. Forgive this transgression, but we vets need some mindless diversion from the stacks of journals that await us in our mailboxes when we finally make it home.

To assuage my guilt, I’ll give you a vet’s perspective on this popular TV series:

In the first days after the crash, who else wondered whether Vincent would be granted water for survival? Where does Vincent get his food? Does anyone ever see him eat? How does he never seem to lose weight, lacerate a pad, or—God forbid—sick up after an unhealthy meal of uni spines and old fish bones?

So what would happen if Vincent fell deathly ill? Would it fall to Jack to treat him? Or would he refuse, in his characteristically petulant, hyper-sweaty way? Here’s my take:

Jack: There’s nothing in my medical oath that requires me to treat this animal, squander our medical supplies, or waste our precious time on one dog. It’s about time we reevaluated our approach to pets on this island. Our survival depends on it!

Vincent: [whining]

Sun: But Jack, how can we deny treatment to another life force? His presence here has consistently reminded us of our humanity. Vincent has cast our inhuman acts of violence into sharp relief against the backdrop of our ability to love and care for him!

Michael: Yeah! And you better save my kid’s dog, Bucko. It’s the only thing my son has left after his mother’s sudden death, his stepfather’s aching rejection, a horrific plane crash, and kidnapping by a fiercesome crew of sea bandits!

Sun: Hurry, Jack. He’s slipping away!

Jack: Okay, here goes! Aaargh! I think I’ve got it!

Vincent: [whining]

Sun: Jack! You’ve done it!

Jack: [holds up a dirty plastic airplane] That’s the last time you’ll be eating one of these, boy! Now can I go wash my hands?

Am I also alone in thinking it would have been much more fun if Jack was a hotshot veterinarian instead of a boring human surgeon with way too many emotional issues?

If this were Survivor, Vincent would have won long ago for sheer clear-headedness and overall strength of character. I posit he’s the real hero of the show. After all, this is the only character you’re never manipulated to suspect or dislike in any way. And why is he named Vincent? Ever think about that…? The innocent artiste as ultimate symbol of our humanity interpreted by modern day standards as…a dog?

And now I’ve said enough.

Perhaps it would make a great plot twist if Vincent was secretly in allegiance with the French guerrilla chick or with the Others. Maybe I’ll email some Lost blogger on this...